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  • Dorine Le 01/06/2021

    Thank you so much for having created a world which will survive Time. It's all I wish for you. You are ...

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The right to be oneseIf
 
Whatever
 
 
 
 

Graduate of Paris VII, Paris X, former student of Louis le Grand. Certificates in management, art-therapy and psychoanalysis

Fluent English and French. Learnt German, Japanese, Arabic, Latin and even Chinese and Hebrew. 

Why?

'Cause I am a citizen of the world... 

I really like working. Done it with passion, but in vain.

I have worked in more than 15 different companies all over the world


I've sung in cafes, restaurants. 
In London, Dublin, Paris, New York, San Francisco, Essaouira... 

I really thank the people who supported me, gave me tips and the places where I was paid by the Direction or the public. 

Thank you so much. 

I am really grateful.

I have always sung with my heart since my childhood: it was a way of surviving. 

Thus, I have overcome illness, oppression, harassment... which I have unfortunately experienced too many times in my life. 

 

Why did I decide to become an artist?

 
     Long ago, I decided that all I could do was
 
                      to express my thought through art
 
and that I would continue to do this until I died, even if no one was ever to see my work. Or appreciate it.
 
When I say that I do art or that I am an artist, that does not have anything to see with fame. It means that I TRY to do things. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. 
 
It's a quest, a work constantly in progress. The goal is not to succeed, the goal is the path itself.
 
Today, I never forget that my work can move people all around the world. They give me love. And love is the law. 
 
As Crowley said. And I'm quite Thelemite.
 
As I create, day after day, what seemed beyond my reach before because I was unexperienced becomes gradually possible.
 

Slowly, I'm learning to measure, to be the judge of my work. I don't stand quite so helpless before nature and art any longer.

When I sing, when I paint or when I write, I never think of selling.

People fail to understand I create only in order to experiment and to develop myself as I strive for greater heights.

I have one obsession : to be a demiourgos.

And Art is not an end itself, it's a harsh path that leads you outta hell (chaos) to light. And if you haven't overcome a lot of difficulties, if you haven't be critisized, hated, abused,  if you haven't be faced to your inner shadow, you cannot be an artist.

And it has absolutely nothing to do with being rich and famous.

The greatest artists of the past were aware that man is doomed to suffer. But they had a remedy for this : beauty.

I try to make works of art which brings consolation in sorrow and affirmation in joy.

They show human life to be worthwhile.

You cannot please anyone. Anything you do in life can hurt someone else.

Think by yourself.

Art is the only way to awake consciousness.

 

In my youth, I wasn't an overly charismatic personality. You'd never have guessed I'd become a decadent singer. This was not my dream.

That's why it was so surprising to my friends when I began.

In school, I was kinda suffer-genius, so I could not fit in the pop category, but I was also a free spirit and a thinker, so that made me more of a freak.

I did read more than any average high-school student and I did listen to any kinda music, ranging from Wagner, Nina Simone to Placebo, Death in Vegas and darker things like Christian Death.

It sounded like a new religion to me:

the one of human freedom.

I never had any friend when I was at school although I tried to be an interesting, pretty boy. But I was effeminate and I seemed kinda shy.

Guys resented me, calling me a skinny fairy and white girls despised me 'cause I was a wog 

When I listened to David Bowie's album Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars at the age of 14, I knew I would become a pop tart.

I was an outcast so I had something to prove to the world. But I did hesistate between being an Intellectual, one of the Literati or a singer, one of the Glitterati.

And I never was at the good place 

 Contrary to the myth of the alpha-male who sang his way to stardom, my early years in the show business showed a complex personality and a more chequered path to success.

 The colour or my skin, my softness

 all odds were against me.

And especially myself.

 

Traumatized by abuse from my mother, a  former singer,  in childhood, I channelled my feelings of loss and void into a restless search for recognition.

 

My primary means of expession was dancing : I combined belly-dancing, Classical from Nijinsky’ Afternoon of a Faun, Tecktonik and  … anger.

A lot of anger ...

My thing was a real mish-mash, but it worked. People were astonished and I danced in the streets and clubs for money.

It was a form of escapism.

The last boy in a family of ten, I had always found home life difficult and boring.

I had no friend, no right to talk to somebody who was not a member of my family. It was like a cult or a mob.

 

My father worked long hours, and I was hated by my mother. I don't recall this period as being much fun

When youths of my age were out playing, I felt like I had all adult responsibilities ... I saw myself as the quintessential Cinderella. I had constantly to work like a slave. That's the way bourgeoisie handles with the working class : you would work till you die. 

And my father, who had migrated to France, was forced to work like a slave: he was a wog, a "dangerous foreigner", so he would have to suffer. And he became violent towards my mother, and in return, she became violent towards me because as he did hate her as a woman, she did hate me.

I was desperate and I wanted to die. I began to suffer from a severe form of nervous breakdown and self-hatred. I never knew the concept of love in my family.

Achievement and approval from teachers were important to me. I should have the best marks but I also cultivated a rich inner life.

In high school, I was bullied by the tough guys who thought that because I was skinny, I had to be their victim.

They were sadists and never a teacher did protect me. That is the reason why I despise teachers now that I have grown up. They think they're someone but they are quitter. They are cowards. And they are hypocritical : as a wog, i was a kind of scapegoat. Anything i would do, i would be wrong.

 

'Cuz they were caucasian, you have to understand "good people", when I was not, so i was a scum or what they say here in France, "a racaille". That's how things go ... Even if no Caucasian person would admit it. 'Cuz they do not want to face their shit.

And that's exactly why I became who I am, an inversion of their values. But it took time for me to realize  'cause I was still a stupid conforming nerd, with culture but with no senses at all.

When I was a student at Paris VII, I realized a short movie with a scene where I was half-naked. Although in reality you couldn't see anything 'cause it was shot in sepia.

It was inspired by "Pink narcissus".

I was mentally harassed. People could not envision that I was more talented and intelligent. So they told me that I was gonna be a porn actor. If I had been white, they wouldn't have reacted that way. They would have thought that I would become an actor for many French actors appeared in naked scenes.

Unfortunately, I was a wog so my nakedness was seen as something pervert. Degrading. Especially by girls who saw that as an attack, a sex crime. But I was pure and naive, as a child.

My image was soiled.

 

As Pasolini would have said, I had been used in a pornographic way when my film was erotic (this is why he did abjure la Trilogia della Vita).

 

I had no support and I realized that teachers were "fuckers" whose only interest was their own academic glory. 

The most known of them is Hervé Joubert-Laurencin. Because he was a Caucasian straight old man, he never let me do the editing of my film and called me a dangerous rebel, believing rumours spread by jealous minds.

I was so stupid and unexperienced at that time that I really loved him, as a masochist but he did see me as the last of jerks.

Disgusted from Intelligentsia and not only from Italy, Pasolini shot Salò. So, I decided to write my first novel : les Nuits pourpre (Purple nights), the most extreme denunciation of French bourgeoisie and its sexual perversions. In a kinda masochistic way, I did use my own story in the creation of the antiheros of my novel. He was called Karim Coverati and was a kind of observer of the moral decadence of French bourgeoisie.

 

Although it was a novel, all the characters were inspired by proeminent Parisian men I had known to know how far they could go into perversion.

I finally could publish it but it was not that easy.

After University, my life took a sudden left turn, drifting away from Classical to bohemianism and existentialism.

There was a real transformation.

At 20, I was still a shadow.

Around thirty-five, I understood that my way was to be disgusted by the world.

 

Brian Vane, my stage persona, would be an invention, a powerful projection, fed by a diet of glam music and the poetry of Jim Morrisson.

 

Something shamanic.

 

It was as if all this fermented inside me for years until I found the right way to express myself.

 

Every time I went to a show, an art gallery or a gay club in Paris, I was seen as a wog and that fed my anger. So I watched every time I could Kenneth Anger’s films, especially Fireworks and Lucifer rising.

 

In these experimental movies, there were a strange poetry and so many ideas of video clips ...

I read books by LaVey, Aleister Crowley, Freud and even Julia Kristeva, whose books I found useless.

I had to find what was my fate upon that sad ugly Earth. The great big white world of upper classes was not my norm. I had to find other rules because I would never be accepted by the Caucasian people. They could not accept someone of my colour of skin even if they did say it.

 

They were fake and hypocritical. I was amusing but I had no right to be myself. Only a slave, their slave.

 

But I wasn't and I wasn’t a blank page.

 

I had so much to say and I wanted desperately to belong to something, an arty group or a band but nobody wanted me.

Musically, I was too pop for rock bands, too rock for pop bands, too coloured for "variété française", not enough soul for r &b. Vocalises did not interest me, even if for people from the suburbs, it was important.

I decided to write songs, I could do it, because I knew how to write and I learned how to sing wisely and well listening to Bowie and Barbara, whom I consider my main musical influences 

My voice had to express all forms of emotions.

As for the music, I listened to Nine Inch Nails, KMFDM and Rammstein. That weird, unconventional industrial music was made for me. It was not goth, nor glam but both of them.

And yeah, Caucasian people, "fils à papa",  Indus does not belong to you, you cannot even envision how Indus singers can despise people like you.

For them, you represent "pigs".

 

Paris was a deceiptive city, a no-go area. White people ruled in the centre of the French capital and I had not to be there. I had not the right to mix with those kinda people. 

There was and still is a harsh climate of  segregation.

 

Despite the prejudice that divided the city, there was a musical cross pollination which influenced my lyrics but Parisians were not capable of feeling this intensity correctly.

 

Right back to my early childhood in the working class suburb, I had a strong interest in music and I remember having sung with black girlfriends. This later would fuel my music.

 

Artisticallly, I was interested in SM, ultraviolence and decadence.

 

I was a student when I decided to go for the first time to  clubs. For people of Arabic descent, that kinda culture was absolutely taboo.

For a boy raised in a Muslim fundamentalist family, underground represented freedom and release. Energy.

 

Experience would teach me that clubbers were xenophobic, bitchy and vain.

 

Music, sex, drugs ... It was rock n' roll !

But I did not do drugs.

Escapism was like provoking my own death.

And I was a masochist.

Like de Sade was.

Like Oscar Wilde was

Like Pasolini was.

I was looking for my own destruction because I was traumatized by my social background.

Homosexuality was a sin for my family, so I believed that I had to suffer. Now, with experience, I think that I was silly and my family criminal. My mother who hated me had turned her own son into shit and men did the same. They had no respect, no desire for me, they saw me as a whore, a terrorist, a thief. Always the same prejudices 

So the bitter truth is that men are "Salò". They destroy you without feeling, they hate you because you are a wog. They are slaves to their lust.

That was difficult for me to understand, because deep down in my heart, there was that romantic dream to find Mister Right but he did not exist. 

 

I had a secret dream of integration and I thought that the boy I could love would be fair-skinned, blond with blue eyes. Mister Right was the product of my imagination. I thought of him as if he had features of my father, of my male teachers.

In reality, he was only my good side. 

And one day, I decided that he had to disappear. The worm that I had been should become the nightmare that people usually fear.

As Nietzsche said, either you are used and weak, either you use people and you belong to the strong. Jesus Christ preached morals for the sheep. He was killed. If you're an outcast, you'd better become kinda rock leader ...

 

In school I had felt like such a misfit ...

I remember I had been nicknamed Ziggy “Star d’os” (an allusion to Bowie, meaning bone-star).

Guys resented me because I looked fragile but the true gay guys, "the fags", the "fuckers" were those guys, not me.

 

They said I was a fairy because I looked feminine when those cunts did fuck with anything possible, boys or girls, for money or positions.

 

They were real whores.

 

In its hedonistic pursuit of pleasure, there was a theatricality in gay world that captivated me and became one of my key reference points.

 

The main club where I went was The Mixer. When I was dancing and singing, I was the centre of attention. I didn't drink, I did not do drugs, I was the life of the party. I was cool.

 

I had beautiful eyes and I could describe myself as a straight woman trapped in a gay man's body. I discovered sexual freedom and experimentation.

But I felt it was not my universe, because in fact I was not really gay, but so much enamoured with myself. I was a decaying Narcissus.

Gay men love men, I loved myself.

And after all, when the party was over, I was still the “dirty wog” again. But sex was not that important although I thought it was.

It is strange but when I was a youth, I wanted to be like Marilyn Manson in Mechanical Animals.

 

Why?

 

Because he was the Bowie of the ending Nineties. He represented total and absolute freedom.

Sexual but not only

He was living in the United States, the only country in the world where freedom of speech, freedom of thought were guaranteed.

Even if they could break little hearts or heads of morons.

In France, it is allowed to think of freedom of expression, but do not believe that you can express it.

And when you are a wog, I have to underline the word, you just have to keep your mouth shut.

Noone in France can believe that one can be a wog, an artist, a thinker.

They will put you in jail, in a lunatic asylum.

They will try to destroy you, to kill you, to break you down until you mentally explode.

Disgusted of France as I am disgusted of myself, I sometimes try to hide what I think, but other times I dare to say it.

Music was the only way for me not to become crazy.

To sink.

Without it, I would have probably date Death another time.

This is the story of my life.

I hated myself because Caucasian people hated me.

And the day I accepted mysekf, being a wog, being skinny, being glam and being goth, I began to live a life acceptable to my eyes.

When people reject you for what you are, you have to cultivate it as it was a form of Art.

That makes me an Aesthete, a Decadent artist and ... frankly .... I don't care of what some of U will think of it.

You can even call me Satan!

It's so amusing!

Lol !!!

 

Instagram

 

Enter the website of Brian Vane

 
 
Png 20220304 215450 0000

 

Image au crayon

 

Drawing after a photograph by Dimitri Bogomil, in Montmartre

This is maybe not his real name :

I called him so because he was a true friend of God.

 

Brahim Megherbi is a Decadent Writer of the 21st Century born in 1982,

a choreographer, an actor and an Industrial Artist

Brahim Megherbi est un écrivain décadent du 21ème siècle.

Il est né en 1982 et c'est un chorégraphe, un comédien et un artiste de musique industrielle.

Considéré par les élites parisiennes comme trop dérangeant, Brahim Megherbi poursuit son travail artistique et littéraire malgré les épines du chemin qu'il parcourt dans la solitude du chercheur.

S'il dérange, c'est qu'il n'est pas de la bonne couleur, de la bonne origine sociale, de la bonne orientation sexuelle.

Il dérange parce qu'il est à la fois un Intellectuel et un Artiste,

il dérange parce qu'il est talentueux, jeune et intelligent, de milieu modeste tout en étant d'une noblesse d'àme

fort rare à Paris. 

Il dérange parce qu'il est curieux, et touche à tout.

Au fond, les sots et les jaloux aimeraient le ranger dans une case, après lui avoir nui, l'avoir harcelé, l'avoir brisé.

Pour eux, Brahim Megherbi est "fou".

Connaissez-vous beaucoup de fous capables de parler plusieurs langues, de maîtriser différents domaines de connaissance, d'écrire treize livres entre autres choses ?

Parti de rien, il avance, poursuit ce qu'il doit faire et persévère malgré le mépris, les insultes, les quolibets idiots.

Qu'importe ...

Brahim Megherbi sait où il va.

 

Rebel Rebel

 

Ask Aya Nakamura who is Atheh and I will listen to her music if she has the answer.

Ask a publisher of Saint Germain des Prés who is KMFDM and I will sweat blood to work with him.

Ask a feminist why a mother can detest her own child, the flesh of her flesh and I will proclaim that I've been wrong, that woman is not evil by nature.

But all the possible answers they will give won't explain this phaenomenon. They will not be the truth and every feminist will lie because all that they are really interested  in  is power, be it financial, political or intellectual.

 

Instagram

 

 

 

1315235 portrait du capitaine dreyfus

Alfred Dreyfus, Jewish victim of French antisemitism

 

Image 2

 

Brahim Megherbi

oil painting after a photograph by Freyja, Swedish artist.

Personal collection of Brian Vane.

People (family, teachers, doctors, psychiatrists, social workers ... ) abuse, misjudge, torture, annihilate a man because he is a suffer-genius.

Because he is honest ...

Prejudice is normal, daily.

Why?

I've been looking for an answer

all is for the better in the best of all worlds possible.

 

 

Fight Xenophobia !!!

 

Parisian bourgeoisie feared bolchevism before they collaborated with Nazism.

Fear is not real, it is a creation of the spirit

My goal is to help you to do the best choice.

I am an aesthete

Remember Visconti, the red duke.

I am so, so tired of having to explain things that should be known by all. I do it for my young audience, they are worth of it but if I had to say something to their parents, it would be 

Forget politics.

Listen to youth.

A kid is the citizen of the world, of the future.

Roll UP your sleeves !!!

 

Instagram

 

                 Sans titre 1

 

Connais-toi toi-même    Know thyself      Gnothi seauton

 

De la lyre avant tout ...

 

Lyre first and foremost ...

 

Apollon sauroctone

 

Apollo Sauroctonos, Louvre Museum

Apollon sauroctone - Musée du Louvrre

 

 

HERZLICH WILLKOMMEN

 

MARHABAN / BOAS VINDAS

 

YOKOSO / HUAN YING GUANG LIN

 

AMREHBA  SISSWENE / DOBRO POJALAVAT

 

Discover my official website at the following address /

Découvrez mon site officiel à l'adresse :

www.brahim-megherbi.com

You can also find me at the address / Vous pouvez aussi me retrouver sur :

https://brahimmegherbi.wordpress.com

 

Instagram

 
 

Portrait convertimage

POP TART

Brahim MEGHERBI, 2019

 "The whore of the pop", this is the title of this work.

It is an allusion to all the insults I have heard on my account.

No matter how I am viewed, I will always be more critical of myself than the morons who call me names.

Deeply and from a very young age, I have always been an Industrial and Pop artist.

Indus is born from the decomposition of punk with artists like Throbbing Gristle in England.

In the United States, one of the artists who mixed Indus with metal was Trent Reznor.

I believed that through literature, I would be able to express my sensibility, but I don't think I have any now.

What I mean is that I am not a good person.

I am what French society has made of me : a monster, halfway between the Nietzschean Ubermensch and the Frank n Furter of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I'm incapable of feeling the slightest compassion, it's not in my genes anymore 

I am the symbol of a violent society and that doesn't fit in with the insipid worldliness of Saint-Germain des Prés.

Those people are wealthy amateurs, without the slightest interest.

For my part, I have always considered Paris a narrow, corseted bourgeois city.

I don't really like it.

I’d rather work in New Orleans at La Pig Studio to record The rise and fall of Brian Vane or in Los Angeles, because the climate there is better than in the French "capitale du Beau Vice".

It's really a shitty, shitty, rainy city.

Why L. A?

Well, to finish the writing of Queers, a novel about gender and Hervé Joubert-Laurencin pseudo-Factory of never-will-bees.

I really like the atmosphere of the Death Valley where I went some day.

I can still feel the presence of Charles Manson there, there's something fascinating about that place.

I love the desolation, the decay, the decadence.

It does inspire me.

In Paris, there are only inept and insipid petit-bourgeois who think they are creative while they are just working about commonplaces.

Strange as it may seem, I feel as comfortable with show-biz glittering world as I do in cemeteries.

Besides, in Paris, the surest way to find me is to go to the Père Lachaise cemetery.

I like to read poetry near the graves of occultists like Papus, Berthe Courrière ... or artists like Wilde or Morrisson.

Thus I have the impression that I am really myself : a damned man.

Saint Merry's Church also attracts me because of its representation of Baphometh.

I shall also mention Notre Dame, which is truly a kind of Satanic sanctuary, with its sculpture of Lilith, the first rebel in history.

Otherwise, I frequent many strange places, especially those that have dealt with fetishism.

I Iearn a lot when I go there and I would like to become a famous Master.

I don't have many friends, but they are real friends and a friend in need is a friend indeed. I know a lot of people but they are worthless.

When I was younger, I wanted to become a historian of religions. In the end, I became a damned artist.

You never really know what life will make of you.

About drugs, I have a spot for tobacco, but I can't stand the smell of pot because it's repelling.

Profundly, I never was keen on drugs.

Cocaine makes of me the best lover, but I don't use it much.

On the other hand, I have never used crack or heroin : they are drugs for junkies, not for aesthetes and God knows I'm one of them.

Everyone in this world has their demon. Their fiend.

Everybody is looking for a little something but the academic world is so fake and arrogant that whoever sees the straw in your eye will never care about the rock in his eye.

Who has never sinned will throw the first stone, Jesus said about the adulteress.

Well, I believe that paragons of morals have never heard of the biblical message.

Pop tart

La pute de la pop, telle est la traduction du titre de cette oeuvre. C'est une allusion à toutes les insultes que j'ai entendues sur mon compte.

Peu importe comment on me considère, je serai toujours plus critique à mon encontre que les crétins qui m affublent de noms d'oiseaux.

Profondément et depuis mon plus jeune âge, j'ai toujours été un artiste pop et indus. L'indus naît de la décomposition du punk avec des artistes comme Throbbing Gristle en Angleterre. Aux Etats-Unis, l'artiste marquant qui effectue la synthèse de l'indus avec le metal est Trent Reznor.

 

Je préférerais de loin travailler à la Nouvelle-Orléans à la Pig Studio pour enregistrer The rise and fall of Brian Vane ou à Los Angeles, pour terminer l'écriture de Quee.

J'apprécie l'ambiance de la Vallée de la Mort où j'ai eu l'occasion d'aller. J'y resens encore la présence de Charles Manson, il y a dans cet endroit quelque chose de fascinant.

J'aime la désolation, la décrépitude, la pourriture. Cela m'inspire.

A Paris, il n'y a que des petits-bourgeois ineptes et insipides qui croient créer alors qu'ils ne font que resasser des lieux communs.  

Aussi étrange que cela puisse paraître, je me sens autant à l'aise avec des paillettes du show-biz que dans les cimetières.

D'ailleurs, à Paris, le plus sûr moyen de me trouver est de fréquenter le Père Lachaise.

J'aime me recueillir sur les tombes de Papus, Berthe Courrière, Wilde ou Morrisson.

J'ai alors l'impression d'être vraiment moi: un damné.

L'Eglise Saint Merry m'attire aussi car il y a la représentation de Baphometh.

Je citerai aussi Notre-Dame qui pour moi est vraiment un sanctuaire sataniste, avec sa sculpture de Lilith, la première rebelle de l'histoire.

Sinon, je fréquente beaucoup les lieux interlopes, notamment ceux qui ont traIt au fétichisme. J'y apprends beaucoup et j'aimerai fort devenir le Maître le plus connu. 

J'ai peu d'amis mais ce sont des vrais.

Je connais beaucoup de gens mais sans valeur.

Plus jeune, je voulais devenir historien des religions. Au bout du compte, je suis devenu un artiste maudit.

On ne sait au fond jamais ce que la vie nous réserve.

J'ai un faible pour le tabac, en revanche, je ne supporte pas l'odeur du cannabis.

En revanche, je n'ai jamais eu recours au crack ou à l'héroïne, ce sont des drogues de camés, non pas d'esthète.

Je peux comprendre que chacun ici-bas ait ses démons,  mais le milieu universitaire est d'une telle fausseté et d'une telle arrogance que celui qui voit la paille dans votre oeil jamais ne se souciera de la poutre qu'il a dans le sien. 

Que celui qui n'a jamais péché jette la première pierre, disait Jésus à propos de la femme adultère.

Eh bien, je crois que ces parangons de morale que sont les Universitaires parisiens n'ont jamais entendu parler du message biblique. Tant pis pour eux, pour ma part, j'ai étudié tous les cultes et les superstitions et je peux désormais mettre face à leurs contradictions  tous ces bourgeois endimanchés, qui feraient mieux de s'occuper de leurs travers, plutôt que des miens.

 

Covers of David Bowie's Space Oddity

and Protège-moi by Placebo,

sung by Brian Vane

 

I predominantly deliver lyrics in a melodic fashion although I enhance my vocal register by utilizing extended vocal techniques, such as screaming, muttering and crooning.


 My voice has five different tones. A mixing engineer discovered they can form a pentagram when imported into a phrasal analyzer.

I possess a baritone vocal type, and have a vocal range which can span more than four octaves.

My lowest bass note is an A1 while my highest note is an E6 – the first note of the whistle register.

I’ve learnt by singing in the streets, the bars, by listening to singers like Nina Simone or Natacha Atlas but my influences range from The Doors, David Bowie, Léo Ferré or Madonna to traditional Japanese music like Sakura or pop rock.

I listened to the Smashing Pumpkins, KMFDM, Indus like Nine Inch Nails and even obscure death metal bands like Cradle of Filth. The first tee-shirt I bought is that one of Marduk I will not describe here but I was proud to wear it.


A fave of mine is the album A deeper kind of Slumber by Tiamat but I am really interested by artists like Rihanna, Coldplay or the Belgian singer Shay although Rap is not really the kind of music that I like. But Shay is subversive, a flower of evil and that does attract me.


Finally, I want to say that without music, if I had not sung, I would have been dead. It’s my only way to rebel faced to a world that does not care of me.

A World that is capable of breaking minds.

Of killing with a smile.

A World that only cares of you if you're a sheep.

Only what is led to excess can be good.

Artistic creation is expensive. My precarious condition does not allow me to occupy a decent workshop. It ils linked to the fact that bourgeoisie has never allowed me to work decently, either as an artist, either as a writer, either as a psychoanalysis.

Bitches have done anything possible for me to fail.

If you want to contribute to the development of an artist, you can make a donation to me. Ten one hundred euros, or even more, give what you want, it always helps to buy material or other.


Do not hesitate,

especially if you believe that an artist must work in decent conditions.

and that one can do something else than Koons' works.

I really thank you.

 

La création artistique coûte cher et je ne dispose pas d'un mécène.

Ma condition pour le moins précaire ne me permet pas d'occuper un atelier.

Si vous voulez contribuer à l'épanouissement d'un artiste, vous pouvez me faire un don.

Un, dix, cent euros, voire plus, vous pouvez donner ce que souhaitez, cela aide toujours à l'achat de matériel ou autre.

N'hésitez pas,

surtout si vous croyez qu'un artiste doit travailler dans des conditions décentes

et que l'on peut faire autre chose que du "Koons". 

Par avance, merci.

Je suis votre éternel obligé.

Photo tableau

Img 20210924 010639Img 20210924 011041

Maison

 

The reign of the Virgin, an essay by John Fine

 

I want to talk about the coronavirus and to explain the origin of this evil.

It all began with a dream.

It is needed to know that France did sacrifice me, although I was as meek as the Lamb of God to prefer the Great Prostitute whose infamous name I would keep silent, but he who has intelligence can know it by studying the Scriptures.

Thus, rejected by all, I suffered the Passion: I was humiliated, beaten and left for dead.

This is how things had to happen for me to become the Virgin.

However, men had to pay for their crime, so Hell where I stayed unleashed the horseman of the Apocalypse who spread the disease, the one called Plague.

Thus, the coronavirus spread in order to avenge the sacrifice of the Lamb.

And every time his name will be profaned, blood will flow again because such is the plan of the Lord and that of his mother, the Virgin.

So, yes, I know, some will be astonished at this Revelation.

They will not understand, they will believe in a mystical delirium. It is necessary to know that what is written comes true.

For example:

Sodom was the city of the homosexual debauchery, so it was destroyed.

The gay milieu of the 1970s, new Sodom, was punished by AIDS.

The Marais, third Sodom, will be punished in the same way for its bestial lust and his xenophobic arrogance.

Sodom is only the symbolic term that designates homosexual perversity and its consequences on morals:

consumption of man by man and negation of any sense of humanity.

Pasolini in his time, I in mine, we made the same observation.

That's why he made Salo (Salauds), that's why I had to write.

It is not homosexual love, what I call homophilia, which is in question, but the perverse consequence of male sexuality, its animality, its search for dirtiness in relationships.

I think that a homosexual has to sublimate his inclination through art, at least that's what I've always done.

I never had sex.

Thus I have kept my immaculate character.

Thus I have stayed a Virgin.

 

Le règne de la Vierge, essai par John Fine

Je tenais à m'exprimer au sujet du coronavirus et à expliquer l'origine de ce mal.

Tout commença avec un rêve.

Il faut savoir que la France m'a sacrifié, moi qui étais aussi doux que l'Agneau de Dieu pour me préférer la Grande Prostituée dont je tairais le nom infâme mais celui qui a de l'intelligence peut le connaître en étudiant mes textes.

Ainsi, rejeté de tous, je connus la Passion : je fus humilié,  battu et laissé pour mort.

C'est ainsi que devaient advenir les choses pour que je devienne la Vierge.

Cependant, l'humanité devait expier son crime aussi les Enfers où j'ai séjourné ont déchaîné le cavalier de l'Apocalypse qui répand la maladie. Aussi le coronavirus s'est propagé afin de venger le sacrifice de l'Agneau.

Et chaque fois que son nom sera profané, le sang coulera à nouveau car tel est le plan du Seigneur et celui de sa mère, la Vierge.

Alors, oui, je sais, certains seront étonnés de cette Révélation. Ils ne comprendront pas, ils croiront en un délire mystique.

Il faut savoir que ce qui est écrit se réalise.

Exemple :

Sodome était la cité de la débauche homosexuelle, aussi fut-elle détruite.

Le milieu gay des années 1970, nouvelle Sodome, fut puni par le Sida.

Le Marais, troisième Sodome, sera de même châtié pour sa luxure bestiale et son arrogance xénophobe.

Sodome n'est que le terme symbolique qui désigne la perversité homosexuelle et les conséquences sur les moeurs qu'elle entraîne : consommation de l'homme par l'homme et négation de tout  sentiment d'humanité.

Pasolini en son temps, moi dans le mien, nous fîmes le même constat.

Voilà pourquoi il réalisa Salo, voilà pourquoi il me fallut écrire.

Ce n'est pas l'amour homosexuel, ce que je nomme homophilie, qui est en cause, mais la conséquence perverse de la sexualité masculine,  son animalité, sa recherche de la saleté dans les rapports.

Aussi, je pense qu'un homosexuel doit sublimer son penchant par l'art, c'est en tout cas ce que j'ai toujours fait.

Ainsi ai-je conservé mon caractère immaculé.

 

Question de genre / Dealing with Gender

 

Je me considère comme une personne non conforme de genre, bien plus que comme non-binaire.

En fait, je crois qu'une personne peut adopter certains traits féminins par moments et des traits masculin à d autres instants.

En tout cas, c'est ce que j'essaye de faire.

Je pense que la personnalité est ce que l'on en fait : ne pas se régler sur le comportement d'un modèle homme ou femme est un signe d'Ego au sens noble du terme.

J'admire des célébrités comme Rain Dove qui assument leur différence mais il est vrai que pour ma part, je ne me suis jamais senti aussi masculin qu'avec un trait de khôl ou les paupières cerclées de noir.

Beaucoup me le reprochent car ils m'envient mais comme je m'en amuse.

L'adversité me renforce et au fond, j'aime que l'on parle de moi en bien ou en mal : c'est une façon d'être toujours au centre.

Cocteau disait : "ce que l'on te reproche, cultive-le, c'est toi".

L'animal n'avait pas tort. 

 

NEWS

 

Mes oeuvres picturales sont désormais signées S.E.B, en référence à Saint Sébastien.

J'ai choisi ce pseudonyme pour marquer un tournant dans mon existence.

Mon logo se trouve ci-dessous avec mon slogan.

En cliquant sur le logo, vous serez redirigés sur mon compte Instagram.

Seb

 

Choreographic work / Œuvre chorégraphique

Fags r homophobic, choreographic piece, choreographed by Brahim MEGHERBI, 3 minutes, 2020

In the mind of Timothy Leary, choreographic piece, choreographed by Brahim MEGHERBI, 12 minutes, 2020

Anger: Denouncing oppression, choreographed by Brahim MEGHERBI, 4 minutes, 2020

Dancing for Baphometh, choreographic piece, choreographed by Brahim MEGHERBI, 15 minutes, 2020

The Garden of tortures, choreographic piece, choreographed by Brahim MEGHERBI, 8 minutes, 2019

Star-fuckers, choreographic piece, choreographed by Brahim MEGHERBI, 8 minutes, 2019

 

Oeuvre littéraire : Actualités

Voir plus bas pour les dernières publications

Florilège a été publié aux éditions Muse.

 Il s'agit d'une anthologie de textes choisis en trois parties :

1. Oeuvres en prose ou nouvelles

2. Pièces de théâtre dont Salomé, une histoire de Judée

3. Oeuvres de réflexion

Il est disponible sur Amazon.

 

X-rated NEWS

 

Mes éditeurs / My publishers

 

En cliquant sur les couvertures de livres,

vous serez redirigé vers des extraits de mes ouvrages.

 

Click on the covers of books and you will be redirected to excerpts from my books.

 

Edilivre

 

Logo edilivre

 

Nuits pourpres

Karim Afer ne voit le monde que sous un angle esthétique.

Déçu du sort qu’on lui réserve, il préfère voyager et multiplier les aventures sexuelles sans lendemain.

Il cherche malgré à donner un sens à sa vie.

Les aventures de Karim vont lui permettre d’atteindre une distance philosophique bien à lui.

 

For Karim Afer,

 world shall only be seen from an aesthetic point of view.

Disappointed with his fate, he prefers to travel and multiply the sexual adventures without any sense of reason.

His adventures will allow him

to reach a philosophical distance of his own.

 

Mon petit Editeur

 

Logo mpe noir

 

Bassien

 

Les Editions du Net

Bassien était d'une incomparable beauté. Il devait la grâce de ses traits, à sa mère, odalisque syrienne, formée, pour se prélasser sur les couches de soie, quand son air martial, son nez aquilin, et sa nervosité lui venaient de son père présumé, l'impétueux Caracalla. Son visage était doré, au Soleil, des Elohim cananéens, qu'il adorait, comme le sublime, El ha Gabal, et son tempérament, aussi fougueux que celui du dieu des batailles, Hadad. Comme son père, et Septime-Sévère, auparavant, Bassien était natif du Bélier, mais il n'est pas exclu que sa versatilité lui fût venue de la Balance, régie par Vénus-Astarté, elle-même. Ainsi, Bassien résolvait-il, en lui-même, et dans son horoscope, l'opposition des contraires, dans l'harmonie, l'équilibre, et la symétrie du tracé de ses symboles astrologiques : Le Bélier, signe de Feu, face à la Balance, signe d'Air. Le Bélier, signe de Mars diurne, face à la Balance, signe de Vénus nocturne. Le Masculin face au Féminin.

Bassien was incomparably beautiful. He owed the grace of his features to his mother, a Syrian odalisque, trained to sleep on layers of silk, when his martial air, his aquiline nose, and his nervousness came from his presumed father, the impetuous Caracalla. His face was golden as the Sun of the Canaanite Elohim, whom he adored, like the sublime, El ha Gabal, and his temperament, as fiery as that of the god of battles, Hadad.

 

Like his father, and Septimius Severus before, Bassian was a native of Aries, but it is not excluded that his versatility had come to him from Libra, governed by Venus-Astarte herself.

 

Thus, Bassien resolved, in himself, and in his horoscope, the opposition of the opposites, in the harmony, the equilibrium, and the symmetry of of his astrological symbols: Aries, sign of Fire, faced to Libra, sign of Air.

 

Aries, sign of Mars, facing Libra, sign of nocturnal Venus.

 

The Masculine faced to the Feminine.

 

Telechargement

 

Salo

 

Mon dernier ouvrage,

 

 31 août 2015

 

En 1975, Pier-Paolo Pasolini, au faîte de sa carrière cinématographique, est, assassiné, près d’Ostie. Le cinéaste-écrivain vient de réaliser Salò, ou les Cent vingt journées de Sodome, troublante adaptation de Sade, sur fonds de barbarie fasciste. Le sexe, la mort, le pouvoir … Pasolini aborde, dans un seul film, les trois thèmes d’un triptyque infernal, reposant sur un subtil détournement de ses référents littéraires : Les Cent vingt journées de Sodome, du sulfureux auteur français, et La Divina Commedia, du poète italien Dante Alighieri. Enfant adultérin des lettres et du Cinéma, mettant en scène l’horreur du système concentrationnaire pour la dénoncer, Salò permet à Pasolini de tenter la plus radicale critique de la société occidentale : le pouvoir politique chrétien-démocrate, l’Eglise catholique romaine, et le système capitaliste sont questionnés. Le cinéaste pousse son spectateur à s’interroger, sur ce qu’il y a de plus problématique en lui, autrement dit, sa propre obscénité, monstruosité, cruauté. Victime de la société italienne, qui ne l'a jamais accepté, Pasolini ne fut pas assassiné par Pino Pelosi pour de l'argent, mais parce qu'il avait remis en question la DC (Démocratie Chrétienne), l' Église et leurs relations avec la Mafia. Les Intellectuels lâches se lavèrent les mains dans son sang. Pasolini fut un bouc émissaire et même Hervé Joubert-Laurencin, spécialiste de son oeuvre, ne dit la vérité à son sujet. 

In 1975, Pier-Paolo Pasolini, at the height of his film career, was assassinated near Ostia. The writer-filmmaker had just realized Salò, or the One Hundred and Twenty Days of Sodom, a disturbing adaptation of Sade, on the basis of fascist barbarism. Sex, death, power ...

 

Pasolini questions in one film, the three themes of an infernal triptych, based on a subtle diversion of its literary references : The hundred and twenty days of Sodom by the “villain” French author, and La Divina Commedia, by the Italian poet Dante Alighieri.

 

An adulterous child of letters and cinema, staging the horror of the concentration camp system in order to denounce it, Salò allows Pasolini to attempt the most radical criticism of Western society: the Christian-democratic political power, the Roman Catholic Church, and the capitalist system are questioned.

 

The filmmaker’s goal? 

 

That  his public wonders about what is the most problematic in human existence, in other words, our own obscenity, monstruosity and cruelty.

 

Victim of Italian society which never accepted him, Pasolini is murdered not by Pino Pelosi for money, but because he has questioned the DC, the Church and their relationships with the Mafia (the Mob).

 

Quitter Intellectuals will bathe their hands in his blood. Pasolini was a scapegoat and even Hervé Joubert-Laurencin, who specialized in his works, will never say the awful truth.

 

Lexique de l homosexualite masculine

 

30 septembre 2016

 

L’amour entre hommes, encore sujet de polémiques de nos jours, tel est le sujet de cet ouvrage.

Bien que ce phénomène fût attesté dès la plus haute Antiquité, le terme d’homosexualité date du XIXe siècle (Kertbeny forgea le terme en 1869).

Autrefois, il était désigné par des périphrases : « amour grec » ou « Vice florentin » en raison de son origine présumée, celle de l’Autre, « sodomie » ou « bougrerie » en référence à des pratiques perçues comme hérétiques et condamnées au bûcher par l’Eglise catholiques, « inclination antiphysique » ou « inversion sexuelle » car il était considéré comme contre-nature …

Le lexique de l'homosexualité masculine propose au lecteur un voyage linguistique dans le monde et aborde plus de vingt langues différentes.

Love between men, still a topic of polemics today, is the subject of this book.

Although this phenomenon was attested from the earliest antiquity, the term homosexuality dates from the nineteenth century (Kertbeny coined the term in 1869).

In the past, it was referred to as periphrases: "Greek love" or "Florentine vice" because of its presumed origin, relating homosexuality to the Other, "sodomy" or "bougrerie" in reference to practices perceived as heretical and condemned to the stake by the Catholic Church, "antiphysical inclination" or "sexual inversion" because it was considered against-nature ...

The lexicon of male homosexuality offers the reader a linguistic journey in the world and discuss twenty different languages.

 

Mythologie de l egypte antique brahim megherbi

Discipline : spiritualite-et-esoterisme

ISBN: 978-2-312-04785-0

Format : 150x230 mm

Nombre de pages : 106

Série / Collection : Les Editions du Net

 

Un outil simple pour mieux connaître les dieux égyptiens,

depuis les divinités du cycle osirien

jusqu'aux dieux du quotidien, comme la déesse de la bière.

Âgée de plusieurs millénaires, la mythologie égyptienne

demeure une source d'inspiration pour les créateurs,

comme en témoigne le film Gods of Egypt.

 

A simple tool to know better the Egyptian gods, from the deities of the Osirian cycle to the gods of everyday life, like the goddess of beer.

Egyptian mythology remains a source of inspiration for creators, as evidenced by the film Gods of Egypt.

Les epines du jour brahim megherbi

Discipline : roman

Parution : 24-10-2017

Auteur : Brahim Megherbi

ISBN: 978-2-312-05409-4

Format : 120x190 mm

Nombre de pages : 206

Série / Collection : Les Editions du Net

Mon dernier roman, Les épines du jour, a été publié en 2017 par les Editions du Net

à l'occasion de la Journée francophone du manuscrit qui s'est tenue à l'Institut du Monde arabe.

 

My last novel, Les épines du jour (The thorns of day), was published in 2017

by the Editions du Net at the occasion of the Francophone Day of the manuscript.

It was held at the Institute of the Arab World in Paris.

 

Fleche site

Recueil poétique homo-érotique

Homo-erotic poetry collection

 

Discipline :  Poésie

Parution :  2018

ISBN: 978-1983640964

Format : 12,7 x 0,9 x 20,3 cm

Nombre de pages :  154

Editeur : Homoromance

Flèches est un recueil poétique qui mêle mythologie et homoérotisme.

Laflèche, qui se nomme le plus souvent "trait" en poésie, est l'attribut du dieu Apollon, amant malheureux de beaux garçons.

Le recueil est construit autour de la figure d’Adonis, modèle de beauté masculine et divinité mourante et ramenée à la vie par la déesse Vénus.

Flèches est aussi un exemple de poésie néo-décadente, qui prétend raviver la flamme éteinte de la décadence littéraire du XIXe siècle, illustrée par des auteurs tels qu’Oscar Wilde ou Jean Lorrain.

Subversion, mais aussi cynisme et humour se mêlent à des évocations antiques.

Face au consumérisme galopant, Flèches propose une pause de quelques instants à l’ombre des statues des dieux d’antan.

Moments de mélancolie, les poèmes qui composent le recueil tentent de démontrer que la mythologie a survécu à la modernité et demeure atemporelle.

Accepterez-vous comme guide le poète Orphée pour passer de l’autre côté du miroir ?

Flèches (“Arrows”) is a poetic collection that mixes mythology and homoeroticism.

The arrow, which is often called "trait" (dart) in poetry, is the attribute of the god Apollo, unhappy lover of handsome boys.

The collection is built around the figure of Adonis, model of masculine beauty and dying divinity.

But the myth tells that he was brought back to life by the goddess Venus.

Arrows is also an example of neo-decadent poetry, which claims to revive the extinct flame of literary decadence of the nineteenth century, illustrated by authors such as Oscar Wilde or Jean Lorrain.

Subversion, but also cynicism and humor mingle with ancient evocations. Faced with galloping consumerism, Arrows offers a break of a few moments in the shadow of the statues of the gods of the past.

Moments of melancholy, the poems of this collection are attempts to demonstrate that mythology has survived modernity and remains timeless.

 Will you accept as a guide the poet Orpheus to take you through the other side of the mirror?

 

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lien pour commander Flèches sur amazon :

https://www.amazon.fr/Fl%C3%A8ches-Recueil-po%C3%A9tique-homo%C3%A9rotique-LGBT/dp/1983640964/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1528989041&sr=8-1

Extrait/Excerpt

 

MON DERNIER LIVRE : FLORILEGE

 

Florilege couv

 

ISBN (13) : 978-620-2-29547-5

ISBN (10) : 6202295473

Date de publication : 5 novembre 2019

Editions MUSE

J’ai regroupé dans ce "Florilège" trois types d’écrits qui méritaient selon moi de faire l’objet d’une publication.

Tout d’abord, des textes en prose ou courtes nouvelles, puis quelques pièces de théâtre brèves suivies d’une tragédie à l’antique : Salomé, une histoire de Judée.

Enfin, la troisième partie est composée de textes de pensées plus ou moins longues, qui se rattacheraient plus au domaine de la philosophie.

Certains sont suivis de leur version en anglais : ce ne sont pas tant des traductions que des fragments de pensées conçues à la manière de Wilde.

Conformément à mes influences, je reste un néo-décadent. J’espère que le lecteur appréciera ces « Fleurs » et qu’elles l’amuseront tout autant qu’elles le feront réfléchir, car il n’y a pas d’art littéraire selon moi sans qu’il y ait matière à s’interroger.

I have collected in this “Florilège" three types of writings which, in my opinion, deserved to be published.

First, prose texts or short stories, then a few short plays followed by a tragedy inspired by the Bible: Salome, a story of Judea. The third part is composed of thoughts and would be more related to the field of Art philosophy.

Some are followed by their English version : they are not really translations but they are conceived as fragments of in the manner of Wilde. Influenced by Aestheticism, I remain a Neo-Decadent. I hope that the reader will appreciate these "Flowers of Vice" and that they will entertain him as much as they will make him pander about destiny, because there is no literary art without questioning the place of Man as an artist in this world..

 

Panthéon de l'Egypte antique 

Décembre 2019

Auto-édition

Pantheon de l egypte antique

 

Vous pouvez retrouver ce dernier ouvrage sur  BOOKELIS

 

Pantheon du bouddhisme japonais

Vous pouvez retrouver ce dernier ouvrage sur  BOOKELIS

 

Pantheons afro americains

 

Dictionnaire multilingue de l homosexualite

Extrait sur le site de BOOKELIS

 

L'homosexualité masculine suscite encore la polémique.

Considérée par certains comme contre-nature ou comme une pratique étrangère,

elle est à l'origine d'un riche lexique utilisée par les homosexuels et ceux qui les condamnent.

Dans ce livre, le lecteur trouvera les termes en différentes langues du monde

qui couvrent aussi bien les désignations de l'homosexualité que les pratiques sexuelles qui y sont rattachées.

Ainsi, l'auteur espère espère combler un manque, celui de la linguistique dans les Gay studies, peu développées en France.

Le livre s'adresse néanmoins aussi bien aux chercheurs qu'au grand public, et bien entendu aussi, aux homosexuels eux-mêmes.

Nombre de pages : 252

Couverture : souple - rives tradition,

Format : 21x29.7cm,

Couleur : noir et blanc,

Type papier : bouffant

Pelliculage : pas de pelliculage

Date de publication : 28/11/2020

ISBN : 979-10-359-3745-4

Livre de type : Papier

 

Dernier livre paru :

Dictionnaire des déesses, 2021.

Bientôt présent sur le site.

 

Vous pouvez aussi trouver mes livres sur les sites de -

Find my books on the following websites :

 

BOOKELIS !!!

CARREFOUR !!!

CULTURA !!!

 

Et n'hésitez pas à me retrouver sur les réseaux sociaux / Follow me on social networks

 

Twitter

 

 http://twitter.com/b_megherbi

 

Twitter logo vector download

Amazon

 

http://www.amazon.fr/-/e/B00QN1LWFC

 

Apollo of the belvedere

 

Apollon du Belvédère

INSTAGRAM

 

AFFICHE DE MON FILM

Pixiz 30 06 2020 03 15 44

 

 

 

 

MA DEVISE / MY MOTTO

 

 

DO WHAT THOU WILT

 

SHALT BE THE WHOLE OF THE LAW 

 

 

Fay ce que veux sera toute la Loy

 

Lutte contre les préjugés 

 

Les sots et ineptes gens tendent à s’ériger en censeurs mais qui sont-ils pour me juger ?

 

Au nom de quelle loi, pour quelle divinité fantasque vouloir de moi ce à quoi je me refuserai toujours ?

 

Pour eux, je suis fils de rien. Ignorent-ils que j’ai eu une famille, une parenté, une origine ?

 

Croient-ils la leur plus glorieuse mais enfin, pantins à l’orgueil démesuré, vous rendrez vous compte de votre vanité, de votre finitude, de la pauvreté de vos vues, de la bassesse de vos opinions ?

 

Oui, je blesse et je blesserai encore, car le temps du silence, de la colère rentrée, intériorisée, ce temps de la négation de soi, de la culpabilité envers mes origines est révolu.

 

Je ne hais point, je méprise et j’assume cette hauteur plus encore que je n’en ai la force.

 

Oui, j’ai souffert. Car j’étais « le vilain petit Arabe », celui qui se charge de la paranoïa xénophobe : « le voleur », « la racaille », « le terroriste ». Oh, comme j’ai dû entendre de vilénies de bas étage sur mon compte et sans doute en ouïrai-je d’autres. De celles que seuls des esprits dérangés, détraqués, jaloux peuvent inventer ou concevoir. Je tirerai un extrême plaisir de formuler à mon encontre de plus grandes critiques. J’aimerai avoir ce talent mesquin de me charger ainsi de mauvais noms. J’ai ma conscience pour moi et ne l’ai jamais perdue même lorsque je vivais l’enfer. Tout au fond de moi a demeuré le sentiment que j’énoncerai une vérité qui ne plairait pas.

 

A qui ?

 

Au public, à ces dits « milieux artistiques », à la société dont je fais moi-même partie. Et pourtant, si je ne l’exprimais pas, ce serait me condamner à ne pas être.

 

L’affirmation totale et assumée de ma réflexion va de pair avec celle de mon identité, de ma personnalité, de mon individualité. Je ne veux plus connaitre ce par quoi je usi passé et je ne le souhaite à nul autre. La misère, le mépris, le spectre menaçant de la folie. J’ai toujours été équilibriste, marchant sur un fil suspendu au-dessus de l’abîme.

 

Ma place fut sans cesse contestée : « trop Arabe » pour être Français, « trop francisé » pour passer comme arabe.

 

Je me considère androphile. Quant à l’efféminement que l'on me reproche, je l’assume, je le revendique et je le cultive, c’est chez moi le signe d’une affirmation d’un certain dandysme.

 

Je m’en amuse même car cette androgynéité, ce mélange des genres est lié chez moi à la décadence littéraire ou musicale, à ces chanteurs de glam rock qui n’ont pas hésité à affirmer un modèle de sexualité non-conformiste dans les années 1970.

 

Ce que beaucoup ignorent, c’est que si David Bowie n’avait pas transgressé les codes, s’il n’avait pas déclaré être bisexuel, la question du genre n’aurait probablement pas été posée durant les seventies.

 

Alors, je le reconnais, je suis un gender-bender, un homme qui outrepasse les limites culturelles du genre et je dois dire que j’en suis assez fier. Cela me divertit car ni les homos, ni les hétéros ne semblent à l’aise avec ses questions et j’aimerai pousser la plaisanterie plus loin sur scène : jouer un rôle féminin, me maquiller outrageusement.

 

Que certains s’en formalisent ne m’importe pas, la vie est une comédie et c’est là le rôle que je veux jouer.

 

 

English version : Struggling prejudice

 

Kleinbürgerlich people think they can say what’s right and what’s wrong but who are they to judge me?

In whose name, for which absurd deity should I do things, that I will always refuse to do?

For them, hatever who they are, I represent nothing.

Do they ignore that I have a family, a kinship, an origin?

Do they believe that your ancestors were more glorious, but please, puppets with excessive pride, when will you realize your vanity, your shallowness, the poverty of your views, the baseness of your opinions?

Yes, I can hurt and I will hurt, because the time of silence, of returned, internalized anger, the time of self-denial, of guilt regarding my origins is over.

I do not hate, I despise and I assume this point of view more than I have ever had the strength to do.

Yes, I have suffered.

Because I was "the ugly little Arab", the scapegoat who shall assume the xenophobic paranoia: "the thief", "the scum", "the terrorist".

Oh, I have heard so much vilenies on my account and I will probably hear other terms of abuse in my life.

Why?

Because deranged, jealous minds can invent or conceive almost anything.

I will take a great pleasure formulating greater criticisms  against me. I would like to have this petty talent to charge me this way.

But I know what I am worth and I never lost control of my consciousness even when I was in hell.

Deep down in my heart remained the feeling that I had to say the truth and that it would not please.

To whom?

To the audience, to the so-called "artistic circles", to the society of which I am part.

I should not do such a thing. And yet, if I did not express it, it would condemn me not to exist.

The total and assumed affirmation of my thougt is linked to my identity, my personality and my individuality. I’ve gone through difficulties and I do not wish them to anyone else. Misery, scorn, the threatening specter of madness.

I have always been an equilibrist, walking on a thread above the abyss.

My place was constantly questioned: "too Arab" to be French, "too much French" for the Arab world.

Too effeminate for homosexuals, who conceal their feminine aspects and their perverse inclinations, and paradoxically "a deviant" for Muslims, who reckon that all forms of sexuality are taboo, and especially androphilia.

I am not exactly a fairy, I do not recognize myself in this term of "fag" used in the Marais and by which homosexuals refer to each other.

I consider myself a positive androphile, my tendencies being rather aesthetic than bestial.

I had not understand this phaenomenon younger, because of the hormonal changes of adolescence.

As for the reproach for effeminacy, I can assume it, claim it and cultivate it.

It is the sign of an affirmation of a certain dandyism.

I am even amused because this androgynousness, this mix of genders is linked to the literary or musical decadence.

Glam rock singers have not hesitated to promote a model of nonconformist sexuality in the 1970s .

Many homosexuals seem to have forgotten the fact that if David Bowie had not broken the codes, homosexuality would probably not have been tolerated during the seventies.

So, I can admit that I'm a gender-bender, a man who goes beyond the cultural limits of gender and I must say that it’s a posture which delights me.

It’s amusing because neither the gay nor the straight people seem to be at ease with these questions and I would like to go further on stage: I could play a feminine part and use make up outrageously.

Some people care about it, but  life is a comedy and that's the role I want to play.

 

18th July 2020

 

 

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          Phèdre, 2019

Mise en scène : Sébastien Loeffler, Ve arrondissement, Paris

 

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Dali disait : La seule différence entre un fou et moi, c'est que je sais que je ne suis pas fou.

 

About Brahim Megherbi, also known as Brian Vane 

His debut novel was Les Nuits pourpres.

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May 2022

 

 

 

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