Why I felt compelled to write

Because I am suffering.

That's all. No other reason in fact. 

I am skinny.

I am a wog.

I am a fairy.

These three statements only lead to an excruciatingly horrible pain.

I have no recognition for my artistic work,

Nobody believes in me.

Paris is such a hypocritical city.

In my childhood, my mother used to tell me I was the shit that went out of her womb.

I really think she was right.

I never was happy. Nor in classes, neither at work. So I decided to take a revenge by art. In the real world, you just can't tell fuck you to the world, but if you're a writer you can write it in capital letters.

Writing is the only way left to me to express my horror towards the world. I could have sunk in alcoholism. I rather fell into myself, I have collapsed. This is something called nervous breakdown. People think that you're demented if it happens, they ignore that the same can happen to them. So they do drugs and pretend to be strong and they mentally kill their neighbor. That's the bitter truth. Yet, they are weak because they do not try to understand their fuckin behaviour. I use strong words , it's important to call a spade a spade. Maybe in the future they will read these lines and they will be horrified by their social violence.

I read about Emile Louis : he wrote about a homophobic rape. Guess who was guilty? A man of Arab descent. I'm not sure that it was very interesting. It stigmatizes a population. Gay people will read it and say "of course, Wogs are homophobics". 

It's completely stupid : every person is different. You just can't say things like that. A good writer shall face you to your own demons, not participate in wog-bashing.

Papers say Emile Louis is gifted, talented but that's absolutely not the case. His writings are completely base et vain : he tells what gay racist community wants to read.

I hope I will never be like him.

I have no other work that re enchanting the world  which seems absurd. I don't say that it is an easy place to live but even if we are in the gutter, we shall look at the stars.

Brian Vane, the Artist formerly known as Brahim Megherbi.