When you are a true artist, only concerned and turned to your Ideal, you have a lot of things to say and you want to share them with other artists. You dream of having an interesting collaboration.
But then, you realize that you are used and abused. Artists harbour a great hate at each other. They think of you as a rival, they fear that you become more famous, talented, wealthy than they are.
So they are ready to destroy you, they lie, they behave like bitches.
It's not really interesting to work with them.
So I maybe prefer to stay by my own than to be surrounded by starfuckers and leeches.
I just wait for their death, which will soon arrive because most of bourgeois artists are into drugs and other kinky paraphernalia.
A mature artist is dedicated to his work, no matter what people think of him or try to do to destroy his reputation.
Some say I am a weirdo or a creep. Others will scream he's such a freak, he's a male whore, a wanton or a scoundrel.
I've been the subject of all kind of attacks possible : he's a psycho, a thief, a terrorist.
I am maybe poor, because the course of my life has been difficult. But I feel proud of everything I have done, even of my wanderings, even if sometimes I have not been respectful of what the bourgeoisie call the social order or morals.
I may have hurt, but by anger or uncounsciously, but I never felt pleasure of doing harm. I am neither a pervert, nor a sadist. Just the ol' good boy who dreams to play the bad boy.
The characters of my novels, like those of de Sade, are not me. They reflect the corruption of the world in which we live.
To survive here in Paris demands to be harsh, sometimes cruel, often authoritarian but that does not mean that you are a "salo".
It's just the only way to stay true to yourself, to keep some ideals, to preserve your reason from the hatred, the scorn and the violence of the ruling classes.
I am not a rebel, I am a child, not yet a wise man, but I think that corruption by means of money is the invention of bourgeoisie. A girl goes racist because she wants the last rag by Chanel, ready to abuse and to kill with as smile. That's a form of prostitution, the worst, the one I call immorality.
In the Bible, Mammon meant riches, it became a demon in Christianity.
And Jesus told his disciples that they will have to choose between God (Ideal) and Mammon (corruption).
I shall say that I do not know if there is any interest to choose God.